I haven't been on here in ages. Life has just been busy, and I let too many things slide. I skimmed through my blog earlier, and I realize now that I really miss sitting here and blogging out my thoughts. I can't promise to be consistent, but I shall try going forward.
First...I must find my reading glasses (so I can actually see) and fix some coffee (it's been a rough one!)
Today has been a killer. It's one of those days where when everything is all said and done, I'm left feeling empty and defeated, guilty and failing, or in another word...discouraged.
I yelled today. A lot. If anyone has ever thought of me as a patient person with a gentle spirit...and that person just happened to stroll past my house this evening, then that person either thinks:
a) Shannon must be possessed
b) someone else must live there
c) boy howdy, was I wrong when I thought she was _____
I let my anger get the best of me today when what seems like the 10,000th disrespectful "thing" occurred tonight. Now that my children are in bed asleep, I sit here thinking, "What kind of mother am I?"
Aren't I supposed to be the picture-perfect homeschooling mom? You know...the one who never raises her voice or loses her cool. Ha....hahahaha.
I have never convinced myself of that lie...but still. Here I sit - feeling a bit broken on the inside.
Then a piece of Scripture was handed to me from my Father.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me.
What sweet, perfect words I needed to hear! Christ's GRACE is sufficient. Period.
Yes, I have a temper problem. I always have. It's my thorn. I try hard to control my tongue, but I fail many times. I am reminded that I cannot do this alone, but
"I can do all this through Him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13)
I am a work in progress, and that's okay. I know my Lord is here with me eagerly waiting to walk me through the storm. I just need to be willing to give Him the steering wheel.
Lord, I am willing!