Our homeschool journey began much like many other journeys. My husband and I saw a need, we prayed, and were lead to homeschool. With much enthusiasm, we researched, bought, registered, and prepared for our school year.
The first year ran incredibly smoothly. Sure, we had our struggles, but they were all worked out quickly. One might imagine that with such a wonderful inaugural year, our second year would be equally smooth. We were experienced! Surely, the wisdom gained would carry over to our next year.
Unfortunately, I entered the school year with a lazy heart. I felt as though I had quickly mastered the fine nuances of homeschooling in merely a year. With all that pride swarming in me, I no longer sought God’s will for our school. I found a new curriculum that would allow my child to do her work on her own via a computer. I squealed with delight at the thought of not having to do much more than checking her progress once a day. I quickly rationalized the curricula switch and made the purchase.
The following months were embarrassingly horrible. My daughter felt neglected and behaved extremely rebelliously. We fought constantly. Our house became a war-zone. We tried to switch back to our old curriculum, but it was too late. I was angry with God. I found it completely unfair that I had to deal with such stress and angst. Naturally, I decided to rebel. Four months into our school year, I re-enrolled my child into public school.
Somehow, during this stormy season I convinced myself that all of this was God’s will for our family. I would pray, but I would never slow down enough to really listen to His answer. Honestly, I didn’t want to hear His answer. I had my solution, and that’s all I wanted.
I saw my child change a lot in the next few months. She would come home angry every day, upset at her modest clothing. They made her a target for her classmates. She just wanted to fit in, but to do so would require sacrificing our family values. She stayed angry most days.
As the year drew to a close, it was time to tour the middle school my daughter would attend. I remember arriving at the school completely confident in what we were about to experience. What I received, though, was the most disheartening, disturbing, and disorganized presentation I have ever seen. I was shaken to the core. It was then that I realized God was gripping my heart. I was on fire for homeschooling. I would not, could not stand by and allow this horrid mistake to continue metastasizing. A commitment was made that day, to my children and God. And life hasn’t been the same since.